Thursday, September 30, 2010

From A Local Listserve...

A very limp duck was brought into a veterinary surgeon. As the owner laid 
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to 
the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, 
your duck, Daffy, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any 
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a 
few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner 
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws
on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then 
looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few 
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also 
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its 
haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is 
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a 
bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took 
the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the 
bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's 
now $150."